When a family asks for donations "in lieu of flowers," they're doing two things. They're redirecting what would have been spent on arrangements toward a cause that mattered to the person who died, and they're also quietly acknowledging that a room full of flowers can be beautiful for a day but gone by the weekend.

Getting the wording right matters. Awkward or vague language leads to well-meaning people donating to the wrong charity, or giving up and sending flowers anyway. Clear, specific phrasing makes it easy for guests to do the right thing.

Basic "In Lieu of Flowers" Wording

These are straightforward, usable as-is in an obituary or on an invitation:

  • "In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [Charity Name] at [website or address]."
  • "In lieu of flowers, please consider a memorial donation to [Charity Name] in [Name]'s memory."
  • "Those wishing to honor [Name]'s memory may make a donation to [Charity Name] ([website]) in place of flowers."
  • "Memorial donations may be made to [Charity Name]. In lieu of flowers, the family is grateful for your support of this cause."

Wording That Explains Why This Particular Charity

When you include a sentence about why this organization mattered to the deceased, it transforms a request into a story. It also makes people more likely to actually donate.

  • "[Name] spent twenty years volunteering with the Humane Society. In his memory, the family asks that donations be made to [Local Humane Society] in lieu of flowers."
  • "[Name] was a breast cancer survivor who credited her care team with giving her fifteen more years. In lieu of flowers, donations to the American Cancer Society in her memory would mean the world to her family."
  • "Because [Name] believed so strongly in education, the family requests memorial contributions to [School Name] scholarship fund in lieu of flowers."

Wording for When the Family Has a Specific Memorial Fund

Sometimes families establish a dedicated fund, either through the funeral home or a platform like GoFundMe or a community foundation:

  • "A memorial fund has been established in [Name]'s honor. Donations in lieu of flowers may be made at [link or address]."
  • "The family has established the [Name] Memorial Fund to support [cause]. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made through [website]."
  • "In lieu of flowers, donations to the [Name] Memorial Scholarship Fund at [Institution] are gratefully accepted. Please make checks payable to [Institution] with '[Name] Memorial Fund' in the memo line."

Wording for Multiple Charities

Some families prefer to offer a choice, especially when the deceased had multiple causes they cared about:

  • "In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations to any of [Name]'s favorite causes: [Charity 1], [Charity 2], or [Charity 3]."
  • "Those wishing to honor [Name]'s memory may donate to a charity of their choosing in his name. He believed in leaving the world better than you found it."

Softer Wording for When Flowers Aren't Explicitly Discouraged

Sometimes families appreciate both flowers and donations, or they want to invite donations without seeming prescriptive:

  • "In honor of [Name], donations to [Charity] are warmly welcomed. Flowers are also welcome."
  • "The family welcomes flowers or, for those who prefer, memorial donations to [Charity Name] in [Name]'s memory."
  • "If you'd like to make a contribution in [Name]'s memory, [Charity Name] was close to her heart. Details at [website]."

Where to Put This Wording

Once you've settled on the phrasing, use it consistently in multiple places:

  • The printed obituary (newspaper or online)
  • The memorial service program
  • The digital memorial page or tribute site
  • Any emailed or texted invitations to the service
  • The family's social media announcement

Consistency matters because different people will find out about the death through different channels. If the obituary says one charity and the printed program says another, you'll create confusion.

If you're creating a digital memorial page, you can include donation links directly in the page, making it seamless for visitors to contribute. This works much better than asking people to search for a charity independently.

Practical Tips for Accepting Memorial Donations

If you're coordinating a memorial fund or working with a charity to receive donations, there are a few practical things to sort out early:

Contact the charity in advance. Larger charities have memorial gift programs and can provide a specific link or form that tracks donations made in someone's name. They'll often send acknowledgment cards to donors automatically, which is a thoughtful touch.

Decide on a timeframe. Some families note that donations are welcomed within 30 or 60 days of the death, which helps with acknowledgment logistics.

Plan for checks. Even in 2026, some people, especially older guests, will write a check. Make sure the obituary and program specify exactly how to make the check out and where to send it.

If you want to acknowledge donors after the fact, a remembrance candle page can serve as a gathering point where you post updates about how the donations were used, keeping the memory alive while also closing the loop with generous friends and family.

A Note on Timing

Families often decide about flowers vs. donations in the first 24 to 48 hours after a death, when they're least equipped to think clearly. If you're pre-planning, this is worth deciding in advance and noting in your wishes. The more decisions that are made ahead of time, the less your family has to navigate while also grieving.